The Amazingly Long Spider-man: A movie judged by it’s merits and not by social networks



he loved the movie
In an attempt to help everyone forget about the tragedy that was Spider-man 3 Sony Pictures took five years and $215,000,000 to deliver The Amazing Spider-man. For a movie about a guy who dresses in spandex and swings around town beating up bad guys it is amazingly slow and super boring.

Just shy of two and half hours it dragged on so much I was ready for an intermission before he even put on the suit. The opening scene of Peter Parker as a child the last day he saw his parents would have been better served as three ten second flash backs throughout the film, instead of a seven minute opening. The only thing more drawn out and unnecessary then the dialog and the character development was the camera movements. I’m not even talking about the camera during the action scenes, although the few shots of the Spider-man point-of-view when he was scaling and swinging from buildings was terrible. It is easier to decipher an action scene in Transformers then to see what is going on in those Spider-man p.o.v. shots. However the shots that truly make the movie painful are the long panning and slow sweeping shots at the beginning and end of almost all the scenes that already seemed too long. Through the whole movie I found myself thinking things like, “I get it, he is in high school,” “Yeah, I know he likes Gwen Stacy,” “Okay, high school is tough,” “Yeah, his dad is dead, got it,” “That guy is going to be the villain, let’s just do this.”

In one particularly bad scene we find Peter Parker in a not well kept, but clearly still in use, but somehow still empty warehouse, practicing his skateboarding skills and his new found power swinging from extraneous chains dangling from the ceiling and doing an ollie over a paint can. This movie is disappointing at best I look forward to not liking the two sequels.

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Posted on July 6, 2012, in Movie Review and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Well I answered your poll with “fuck you jeff, internet polls are like asking bus-stop strangers to suck your dick” but it doesn’t show that, it just shows that I voted “Other” and now I’m mad. People might think that I participate in internet polls.

    Was there seriously a skateboarding scene? Is this 1997? This movie sounds terrible.

  2. He skateboards down the hall of the school and a teacher catches him and says, “If you want to keep the board keep it off the ground.” He picks it up but as soon as the teacher turns away and he’s about to go around a corner he puts the skateboard back down and skates down the hall. On the subway a guy is about to hit him with the skateboard and Peter Parker says, “Dude, not my board, please!”

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