Let’s Drink Beer – Four Loko Chatty Review

It doesn’t have caffeine anymore, but both Tim and I still wanted to try Four Loko – it’s 12% alcohol and flavored.

Here we have some quick reviews, which we noted as we drank them.


Tim had the Blue Raspberry flavored one.


Tim’s Comments:  “It’s like they crushed up some Smarties and…it’s really gross.”

“This is ghetto juice mixed with bad booze.”

“This is like Sparks without the kick! Which must be the caffeine. I keep thinking This must be Sparks, but it’s missing something.”

“It has a caffeinated burn to it, without the kick. I don’t know, it’s not good. Actually, you know what would make it better? Cutting it half and half with Sprite. That’d cut the awful taste while giving it some caffeine.”

“I dunno, it’s okay! I’m really drunk now though.”



I had the Loko UVA. (It was grape).



Sean’s Comments: “It’s like someone put kool-aid powder in a 40.”

“That should be the tagline – Four Loko – It’s got alcohol. And then the guy trying to sell it to you just shrugs and looks embarrassed.

“I think we should make Going Loko a thing. It’s where you drink a little bit of Four Loko and then you quietly regret all the decisions that brought you to this point.”

“I want to just drink it really fast but my body just panics when I try to, and I involuntarily clench my teeth and my throat starts convulsing and I have to stop.




After that, we had 40 oz. King Cobras, and this exchange happened:

Tim: Oh man, something about the Four Loko is making the aftertaste of this King Cobra taste AMAZING!
Sean: Fucking yes, totally agree. King Cobra usually tastes like a snake spitting venom into your mouth, but now it’s like sweet ambrosia.


So yeah, Four Loko is so awful it makes King Cobra taste good.


About seansynthetic

"...so I says the the guy, I says to him, 'No, YOU ain't allowed back into this Chuck-E-Cheese.'"

Posted on March 17, 2012, in Let's Drink Beer and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. And then i was really dreally drunk. “four loko: at least your 40 wont taste like shit” *cue embarrased guy shrugging with t-shirt that says “its got alcohol” *

  2. Oh man, I tried Four Loko once. It was an act of desperation(ie. that’s all that was available, and I was in one of those… moods shall we say.). Needless to say, I echo your sentiments. Made me really sick from what I can recall. Or at least that’s what the pile of vomit next to my bed said to me the next morning. It’s like Yagermeister(Which I also can’t stand.), but even more syrup like and disgusting. I think I’ll just stick to my Bushmills. “Ghetto Juice”, is totally correct! Remember, Mad Dog 20/20? It’s like that for the new generation!

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