Let’s Drink Beer – Four Loko Chatty Review
It doesn’t have caffeine anymore, but both Tim and I still wanted to try Four Loko – it’s 12% alcohol and flavored.
Here we have some quick reviews, which we noted as we drank them.
Tim’s Comments: “It’s like they crushed up some Smarties and…it’s really gross.”
“This is ghetto juice mixed with bad booze.”
“This is like Sparks without the kick! Which must be the caffeine. I keep thinking This must be Sparks, but it’s missing something.”
“It has a caffeinated burn to it, without the kick. I don’t know, it’s not good. Actually, you know what would make it better? Cutting it half and half with Sprite. That’d cut the awful taste while giving it some caffeine.”
“I dunno, it’s okay! I’m really drunk now though.”
Sean’s Comments: “It’s like someone put kool-aid powder in a 40.”
“That should be the tagline – Four Loko – It’s got alcohol. And then the guy trying to sell it to you just shrugs and looks embarrassed.
“I think we should make Going Loko a thing. It’s where you drink a little bit of Four Loko and then you quietly regret all the decisions that brought you to this point.”
“I want to just drink it really fast but my body just panics when I try to, and I involuntarily clench my teeth and my throat starts convulsing and I have to stop.
After that, we had 40 oz. King Cobras, and this exchange happened:
Tim: Oh man, something about the Four Loko is making the aftertaste of this King Cobra taste AMAZING!
Sean: Fucking yes, totally agree. King Cobra usually tastes like a snake spitting venom into your mouth, but now it’s like sweet ambrosia.
So yeah, Four Loko is so awful it makes King Cobra taste good.